


Happiness in Misery

by LilyCissa



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BDSM, Bondage, Bottom Derek, M/M, Piss, Post-Derek Hale/Peter Hale, Post-Season/Series 04, S&M, Top Stiles Stilinski, Whipping, hot wax
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:32:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3561398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyCissa/pseuds/LilyCissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Calm down, Stiles.”</p><p>“How could I? That’s super mega embarrassing…”</p><p>“Would it be more embarrassing if I told you I was the one that could teach you shibari?”</p><p>“Please Derek, shut up.”</p><p>Stiles’ cheeks were so red, he almost thought he was about to explode.</p><p>“It’s okay, really. I won’t tell anyone.”</p><p>“How can I know it?”</p><p>“Don’t you trust me?”</p><p>Touché. Stiles couldn’t tell Derek he didn’t trust him, because that’d be the biggest lie he would have utter in this life. Or another.<br/>***<br/>Stiles is too curiously for his own good. When he signs up to daemoniac.com, a BDSM website, he can't imagine who's going to teach him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Happiness in Misery VF](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3572756) by [LilyCissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyCissa/pseuds/LilyCissa)



> Hi everyone ! That's not my first attempt to write Sterek, but the other one is going more slowly that this oneshot.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it ! I tried to make it the less problematic possible, I hope it's ok.  
> Also, I'm not an English native speaker, and I'm not used to write sex scenes in English, so please forgive me if I misuse a word or something. Tell me, if you want, I'll correct it.  
> I must warn you that I want to go really far, the farthest I can with this fanfiction, so it may not suit you if you're a bit sensitive. I hope I tagged it well on that matter.
> 
> Thank you !
> 
> Notes : Underage = Stiles is technically still attending high school.  
> Violence = graphic depictions of BDSM sessions, even if the violence is consensual.

When he signed up on Daemoniac.com, Stiles didn’t know what to expect. He knew a few things about bondage and domination, but not enough to actually practice it. His last nights’ dreams were filled with leather and vinyl, to the point where it worried him. He didn’t think Malia would be pleased with such a kink, especially when there were no girls in his dreams. He kept his mouth shut, not wanting to lose his girlfriend over such a matter. After all, it was only sex.

Stiles logged onto #daemoniac_help, he half-hoped nobody was there. He was wrong.

 

 

> #EvilFox24 entered the channel.
> 
> EvilFox24: Hi
> 
> @SourWolf48: hi! newbie?
> 
> EvilFox24: yep
> 
> @SourWolf48: what’s the problem?
> 
> EvilFox24: what?
> 
> @SourWolf48: you’re onto the help chat so… what can I help you with?
> 
> EvilFox24: oh…
> 
> EvilFox24: that’s kinda…
> 
> EvilFox24: …
> 
> @SourWolf48: embarrassing?
> 
> EvilFox24: yeah.
> 
> @SourWolf48: nobody’ll judge. novice?
> 
> EvilFox24: yep
> 
> EvilFox24: curious, mostly
> 
> @SourWolf48: you want to be dominated?
> 
> EvilFox24: …umm quite the opposite.
> 
> EvilFox24: don’t know why.
> 
> EvilFox24: I want to try but…
> 
> EvilFox24: I’m afraid.
> 
> @SourWolf48: Afraid of what?
> 
> EvilFox24: I don’t want to hurt people
> 
> EvilFox24: that’s stupid I know
> 
> @SourWolf48: Not at all
> 
> @SourWolf48: dominating’s not hurting
> 
> @SourWolf48: what would you want to do?
> 
> @SourWolf48: you have a partner?
> 
> EvilFox24: no…
> 
> EvilFox24: she’d never be ok with it so better forget her
> 
> @SourWolf48: you ok with cheating on her?
> 
> EvilFox24: I just want practice
> 
> EvilFox24: nothing too sexual…
> 
> @SourWolf48: like shibari lessons?
> 
> EvilFox24: that’s japanese bondage?
> 
> @SourWolf48: Yes.
> 
> @SourWolf48: you can find teachers in big towns I think
> 
> EvilFox24: you know how to tie knots?
> 
> @SourWolf48: I can make a few nice things yeah
> 
> @SourWolf48: but usually I’m on the other end of the rope
> 
> EvilFox24: Really?
> 
> EvilFox24: how does it feel?
> 
> @SourWolf48: Good
> 
> @SourWolf48: when it’s done correctly, at least
> 
> EvilFox24: you never panic?
> 
> @SourWolf48: only when I don’t know my partner well
> 
> @SourWolf48: and when he begins to mess up
> 
> EvilFox24: He? are you a girl or gay?
> 
> @SourWolf48: I’m pansexual
> 
> @SourWolf48: and you don’t want to make that joke believe me
> 
> EvilFox24: the one with the pan?
> 
> EvilFox24: naaaay
> 
> EvilFox24: what’s that mean?
> 
> @SourWolf48: it’s like bisexual only it includes non-binary people, not only male or female, or neither, or both.
> 
> @SourWolf48: it means that I’m ready to love and fuck whatever is human, non-underaged and giving consent.
> 
> EvilFox24: guess i’m pan too…
> 
> EvilFox24: at least bi
> 
> EvilFox24: for the rest
> 
> EvilFox24: we’ll see
> 
> @SourWolf48: so
> 
> @SourWolf48: you want to try bondage?
> 
> EvilFox24: why not?
> 
> EvilFox24: do you know where to learn it?
> 
> EvilFox24: I’m not living in a big city so…
> 
> @SourWolf48: state?
> 
> EvilFox24: California
> 
> @SourWolf48: there could be a teacher in Beacon Hills
> 
> EvilFox24: are you shitting me?
> 
> @SourWolf48: ?
> 
> EvilFox24: That’s where I live
> 
> EvilFox24: wait
> 
> EvilFox24: I shouldn’t have told you that
> 
> @SourWolf48: that’s ok XD
> 
> @SourWolf48: I’m not gonna to stalk you
> 
> @SourWolf48: I’m the one living there so…
> 
> EvilFox24: no joke?
> 
> @SourWolf48: no joke
> 
> @SourWolf48: 24, is that your lacrosse shirt number?
> 
> EvilFox24: ok now you’re creepy
> 
> @SourWolf48: Stiles?
> 
> #EvilFox24 has quit the channel.

 

Shutting the window didn’t solve anything though. On his bed, his phone was loudly ringing. Derek Hale.

“Oh please…” he sighed.

He tried to ignore it, in vain. After ten minutes of looping My Chemical Romance, he picked up the phone.

“What?” he growled

“I know it’s awkward, but…”

Derek’s voice was composed at the other end of the line. How could he manage to keep this calm?

“Let’s forget all this, ok?”

“Why?”

Was this man even real?

“Why!? Are you really asking _why_?”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“ _Are you fucking kidding me?_ ”

“Calm down, Stiles.”

“How could I? That’s super mega embarrassing…”

“Would it be more embarrassing if _I_ told you I was the one that could teach you shibari?”

“Please Derek, shut up.”

Stiles’ cheeks were so red, he almost thought he was about to explode.

“It’s okay, really. I won’t tell anyone.”

“How can I know it?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

Touché. Stiles couldn’t tell Derek he didn’t trust him, because that’d be the biggest lie he would have utter in this life. Or another.

“Th…That’s not it…” he stuttered, “I mean, there could be a leak or something…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not leaking.”

“DEREK!”

A little laugh rang in the phone. Stiles didn’t know if he should feel amused or attacked.

“Anyway…” Derek added, “you can come to the loft any time you want. I’ll show you some basics.”

“Don’t you… Don’t you have Braeden?”

“Don’t you have Malia?”

Touché again. Stiles sighed and answered first.

“That’s different. She’s not into it, and I’m not into it with girls. Like I said.” He paused. “Damn, that sounds so weird…”

“I know. It’s the same for me. That’s why I volunteered.”

“I see… So?”

“I’m waiting for you, Stiles.”

“Thank you.”

He didn’t know why he thanked him, but that felt right. Stiles waited for Derek to hung up before lying thoughtfully on his bed. What was he doing? Betraying Malia, only for a kink? A very powerful one, something he really had to try. Like, really. And with Derek…? It was a dream and a nightmare, all at once, and it was going to come true.

* * *

 

Days passed until eventually Stiles found the courage to knock at Derek’s door. He took the time to warn him before, more to be sure Braeden wasn’t around than to be polite. If he was really doing this, he wanted Derek and him to be absolutely alone.

On the top floor of the building, the door opened, revealing a freshly showered Derek. His hair was still wet, and he was wearing nothing but a towel around his hips.

“Please Derek, could you even be more cliché?”

“Enter and shut up.”

Stiles couldn’t repress a smile as Derek shut the door behind him. The thought that soon, _he_ would be the one giving orders was as pleasurable as terrifying. And with Derek’s towel, he already felt like he had dived into a gay porn movie. Great.

“Just wait here, I’ll be right back.” the werewolf said.

Without questioning him, Stiles sat down in the sofa, trying not to let the panic take over. That was nearly as hard as he got when he dreamt about… Well, you know. Derek came back wearing jeans but still parading with his naked torso. Too hot. Stiles had to turn away his gaze.

“So… What do you want to do exactly?” he asked Stiles.

“Hmm…”

Why couldn’t he start with ‘what do you want to drink?’ or ‘how are you these days?’?? But no, he was Derek Hale, known to be a little socially impaired. Stiles tried not to show his embarrassment.

“I think I should ask you this question…”

That was all he could manage, and that seemed to make Derek smile.

“Of course but I have more experience. If you say something I don’t like, and that would surprise me, I’d tell you.”

Stiles had a moment where he thought of all the things Derek could like and when it came to golden showers, he aborted the mission and answered the question.

“Ok so… Bondage, I guess.”

“That’s what we talked about online. What kind?”

The question took Stiles aback.

“I… I don’t know, the kind where you can’t move your arms?”

“Ok. Could have been a more esthetic style or suspension, even I wouldn’t recommend suspension for a novice. But that’s ok. What else where you thinking about?”

“I don’t know, I mean… I was only dreaming and watching porn. Not thinking about doing _you_ all these things.”

“I can just teach you bondage basics, if you’re not comfortable with me. Maybe you’ll find another partner, more attractive to you.”

Stiles was so happy they skipped the ‘drink’ phase, for he’d surely spilled his. Derek, not attractive? Naaaaay. That was the opposite: he was physically perfect. Yet, Stiles wasn’t really at ease with him, that at least was true. He couldn’t help but blush.

“Stiles?”

“No, no, that’s ok. I mean, _you_ is ok. You’re ok. Ok?”

“Right.”

Derek stood up and went up into his room. Stiles sighed in relief, trying to calm down a little. His heart was racing, even though he knew he wouldn’t do anything sexual today. That’s what they agreed on, wasn’t it? The werewolf came back with fancy ropes, one purple and the other turquoise.

“Colors will help you visualize where to lace and how to tie the rope.” he explained. “Also, if you’re wondering, these are ropes specially designed for power play.”

Derek was trying to reassure Stiles, and that was working. He also brought surgical scissors, that he put on the table.

“Just in case.”

Stiles nodded and picked up the ropes he was given, shying away from the piercing gaze of his teacher. Or should he say ‘his… partner’.

After showing the basic knot - one that can’t tight up to itself and is easy to untie - they began with a simple shibari figure where the arms are tied in the back of the bottom. Stiles was shaking like a leaf in the autumn wind at first, but Derek’s patience and calm were contagious. Top Stiles took his time, always checking if the ropes weren’t too tight around Derek’s body. Eventually, he managed the figure, even if his knots were disgracious and uneven. Stiles took a step back, and look at his work.

“Are you ok?”

“Should ask you the same question. I’m great. The tension is stronger on the left side, but you’ll get it with practice.”

Feeling truly relieved, Stiles laughed, then came back to untie Derek. Only to tie him back, exercising.

* * *

 

Stiles was careful not to draw attention at how much time he spent at Derek’s. In the last few weeks, it’s like he’d found himself a new sport that needed training. Two or three evenings a week, he went to the loft, and learnt knots and figures. He especially liked colored ropes: he liked following them with his eyes, endlessly tying and untying the knots in his mind. He really liked it when Derek was tied like this, helpless, powerless. In fact, everytime both had a hard-on they ignored. These sessions were lessons, not making out dates. Eventually, the hardness in their pants went away as they casually talk after the untying.

This time was a little bit different though. Stiles wanted to experiment a figure when all the body was tied up, which implied passing near very sensitive parts. Derek always kept his jeans, but it was impossible for Stiles not to look at his crotch when he was so close. One of his fingers rubbed the lump in the jeans and suddenly, it was like he’s been thunderstruck. Not to mention he’d actually been thunderstruck, and that went on less pleasantly. He stood up and still, paralyzed, and mumbled an embarrassed apology.

“Don’t be sorry.” Derek answered with a smile.

His eyes were asking for more, but Stiles couldn’t. He wasn’t ready, and that wasn’t the deal, remember? Unfortunately, Derek had ceased to be the quiet bottom and Stiles didn’t tie up his tongue.

“Would you like it? Touching me?”

“Derek…”

“Would you like it?”

Stiles sighed, but nodded. Derek lifted his eyebrows in this typical ‘then do it’ pose. Hesitantly, Stiles turned around him, and put a hand on his back. Free from Derek’s light greenish blue eyes, he grew more confident. Another hand touched Derek, sliding slowly along the ropes, fingers guided by the pastelcolored cotton. They eventually found their way to Derek’s stomach and stroke his warm skin. Soon, they were diving onto his jeans, touching him through the fabric. He heard Derek’s breath accelerating and becoming noisier. This time, Stiles really grasped the concept of having power over someone. It reminded him of the Nogitsune, only to stress out how completely different that power was. He wasn’t hurting anyone: the power he had over Derek was only the one he gave to him. The realization made Stiles’ heart miss a beat. Now he wasn’t afraid anymore.

“What would I do with you…?” Stiles whispered into his ear.

Derek was thinking about an answer, but could come with one. He never thought being in those hands would make him so horny. His brain just wouldn’t work, and everything that’d come out of his mouth would sound like another feverish moan. Stiles’ hand opened the fly, his fingers engulfing the breach to reach what was inside.

“No boxers?”

Stiles said it as it was an insult, but clearly enjoyed the fact that nothing was standing between him and little Derek. He stroke him slowly, almost painfully, savouring every one of Derek’s moans. He felt his body stretching out the ropes, his muscles bending underneath his skin. Soon, he let out a longer moan as he was coming in Stiles’ hand.

The room went silent for a few minutes after that, the time for both of them to recover. Then, Stiles began to untie Derek. Of course, as a werewolf, injuries were a minor preoccupation, yet Stiles checked out everything as if Derek was just a regular man. Once all the ropes were inanimated on the floor, Stiles asked:

“Are you ok?”

“You’re adorable.” Derek replied. “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “I’m not the one tied up, of course I’m ok!”

“Being in charge can be exhausting too. Emotionnally.” Derek said casually as he went to the kitchen to fetch some water. “I felt you. You were tense.”

“Well… Yeah.”

They sat on the sofa, looking nowhere.

“I didn’t know what to do.” Stiles said.

“Afraid?”

“A little.”

“Of what? Hurting me?”

“No… Just… I didn’t want to sound ridiculous. To spoil the mood.”

“I see. Honestly, that voice of yours was so convincing I could have called you ‘Master’.”

Stiles couldn’t help but laugh. “Really?”

“If you asked for it, yes.”

“Wow…” That was one of the best things he’ve ever heard, and he felt like he didn’t deserve it. “I’m wondering… What kind of things do you like?”

“You want to know my fetish? I got a few… Being tied up like that is one of them. Dirty talk too.”

“I didn’t say anything really dirty…”

“No, but you thought the words. I felt it. Anyway, whatever you want, you can say it. When I’m tied up, I’m your thing. Your dog, if you want it.”

“How to train your wolf to be a dog. Sounds good to me.”

Derek smiled. Damn, he was definitely hot. Stiles’ hard-on had begun to fade only to come back even stronger. He tried to hide it, but it only made it more visible.

“You want me to take care of that? Master?”

Ok now Derek was clearly laughing, eventhough Stiles knew it wasn’t really a joke.

“I don’t want to cheat on Malia but… You’re so…”

Tears came up behind Stiles’ eyes so rapidly Derek stopped smiling.

“Hey, come here…”

He took him into his arms, gently stroking his back as the sobbing grew stronger.

“I’m sorry…” Stiles muttered. “I’m so confused… It’s like… someone made an error. Malia and me, sometimes, it’s like it’s overplayed. Like it doesn’t feel right. Not as right as…”

Stiles lifted up his head, and without even thinking about it, kissed Derek.

* * *

 

Derek was naked and tied up on the table, his hands along his body and his back and buttocks exposed. They agreed that Stiles should show some real top skills. His rope game was ok, but bondage wasn’t the only kink they had in common. Wearing only a pair of jeans, Stiles picked up the horsewhip and hit the table with it.

“You hear that?”

“Yes Master.”

“It’s your punishment coming, you naughty dog.”

He began to spank Derek with the whip, lightly at first, then stronger in an endless crescendo. His ass went from snow-white to bright red, and his moanings grew louder and louder. After what seemed like an eternity for Derek, Stiles let the whip down for a black candle. He lit it up, letting his bottom know what was coming next. They had agreed on a safeword, which was stupid enough not to be messed up with all they could say and shout during the scene. It’s not like ‘cousin Miguel’ was a kinky thing to say.

But Derek said nothing and Stiles proceeded. Hot wax was dropping down the bottom’s back, little by little, retracing his tattoo, and then his spine. Stiles went from neck to hips, scattering drops of hot wax on his trails until they fall off onto his red cheeks. Derek moaned as Stiles was taking his time, slowly waiting for the tender skin to be entirely covered in black wax.

Eventually he got tired of waiting, and put the candle aside. With a spank that cracked the black crust of his buttocks, Stiles bent over him and let him feel how pleased he was by his performance. Then, sliding slowly and getting to his knees, Stiles dived his tongue between his cheeks, licking him in a way he never ever thought he would. Derek’s moans grew even louder until Stiles couldn’t bear it anymore.

Standing up again, he walked around the table and opened his fly. Derek had lived too long not to know what that meant, but when he opened his mouth, Stiles took a step back.

“Really? You’re really that hungry, dog?”

Derek nodded. “Yes Master…”

“And what makes you think you even deserve it?”

Silence.

“Answer the question!”

“Please…”

“So that’s it. That’s where we are. Begging.”

“Please…”

If Stiles really managed to get Derek’s brain into loop-mode, then he had succeeded. A little smile stretching his mouth, Stiles walked forward.

“You really want to suck it? Then go for it.”

Derek’s mouth opened as Stiles was offering him his cock. His fingers twisted in the bottom’s hair as he began to pant, pulling it and digging his nails into his skin. Derek was too good for him, too good for that and if he’d stay too long, he couldn’t help but… He got out just before coming, frustrating his bot even more. He needed a break if he didn’t want to spoil the mood by being too fast. Spanking him again with his hands, Stiles began to spread Derek’s legs, stroking him with the tips of his index finger. A few - long - minutes and some drops of lube later, Stiles entered one, then two fingers into Derek, his movements slow at first, then more and more savage.

“Please!”

This time it wasn’t moans but shouts coming out from Derek’s throat. He couldn’t wait longer, so did Stiles. He took back his fingers, replacing them something much more imposing. Stiles didn’t know if he fucked him or made love to him, but that really didn’t matter at the time. It just felt good and liberating. And by the sound of it, Derek agreed.

It was only a few minutes, but that was intense. Stiles couldn’t repress his pleasure longer, and came quickly. Too quickly by far, on his opinion, but when he turned Derek over, he noticed he wasn’t that far from coming either. Getting on his knees, Stiles took upon him to free his partner from frustration. With his tongue. He’d never done that, but feeling the other moaning and being at his mercy was so exciting he couldn’t wait for the next time. Caught up into the frenzy, he even swallowed. What Derek had done to him?

With a long sigh, Stiles got back on his feet, and untied Derek. When the ropes were put aside came the question.

“Are you ok?”

This time, Derek didn’t even answer. He just hugged Stiles in his arms, holding him tight against him.

* * *

 

Stiles followed Derek into the bathroom like a young bride. Now that the scene has ended, the lead had passed back to the werewolf.

“You prefer a shower, or a bath?” He asked Stiles.

“Honestly? I don’t care, as long as you’re with me.”

Derek couldn’t repress his hunger for a kiss, and gently pushed Stiles against the shower wall. Water came down, cold as first then out-of-the-pits-of-hell-hot, but nothing could have stop that passionate french kiss. Well, Stiles could have, as he did.

“Turn around.” he said as he picked up a bath sponge he filled with shower gel. He was the one that put all this wax onto Derek’s skin, so he thought he should be the one cleaning. He scrubbed slowly his partner’s -lover’s? - back, massaging his muscles to get rid of the wax more easily.

“So…” Stiles began, “Was it ok?”

“Yeah. More than ok, in fact.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Hey Derek…” Stiles put the sponge down and hugged him. “I think I…”

Only sex, huh?

“Yeah. I love you too Stiles.”

 

 


	2. Home alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life was sometimes very complicated, and you had to cut through to make it simpler. Derek and Stiles had had long discussions about whether they should end their own blooming relationship or end the other ones. Both of them had genuine feelings: Stiles for Malia and Derek for Braeden but… Those feelings couldn’t even suffer any comparison to what they felt for each other. What they always had felt.  
> ***  
> Stiles and Derek broke up with their girlfriends, chosing each other instead. The choice is not that simple though, and it's not the end of their troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the sequel ! In this chapter, Stiles and Derek will talk a lot about what's coming next, so don't you assume this is the end of it. I just take time to write one chapter, and I got many projects so you may feel like the fanfiction is abandoned when it's not.
> 
> This chapter contents include talking about some serious BDSM things : I must say that I want go really far, the farthest I can with this fanfiction, so it may not suit you if you're a bit sensitive. I hope I tagged it well on that matter.
> 
> Friendly reminder that English is not my mothertongue, so feel free to point out mistakes (or anything else). 
> 
> Hope you'll like it !

So it was done. He finally did it, after thinking about it for days and days. The situation had clearly become uncomfortable for both of them, and he had to do something. He just broke up. The words didn’t come easy, but when the first one crossed his lips, the rest just followed like water pouring through a breach in a dam. Stiles didn’t imagine it would be so relieving. A weight has been taken from his heart. He was done lying to himself.

The phone rang into space for a few seconds, before someone eventually picked up.

“Derek?”

“Yeah?”

“Er… You’re at home, right now?”

“Yes. You can come over, if you want.”

“Yeah, I got something to say…”

Yet the conversation didn’t go any further. They didn’t have to talk about it before actually talking about it. In fact, they already talked about it. Life was sometimes very complicated, and you had to cut through to make it simpler. Derek and Stiles had had long discussions about whether they should end their own blooming relationship or end the other ones. Both of them had genuine feelings: Stiles for Malia and Derek for Braeden but… Those feelings couldn’t even suffer any comparison to what they felt for each other. What they always had felt.

“So it’s done, then?”

Derek wasn’t the kind of guy to turn endlessly around the bush. Sometimes it was getting on Stiles’ nerves, but not today. The boy just nodded as he entered the loft.

“How did she reacted?”

“Not good.” the younger man replied, sighing heavily as they sat down into the couch. “That was to be expected, wasn’t it?”

“She’s moody and bad tempered, but she’ll get over it. Don’t you blame yourself for hurting her feelings.”

“But I am. And I did hurt her feelings. Ok, she’s a pain in the ass sometimes but she’s a good person deep within and I can’t help but feeling like shit when I think about what I’ve done.”

Derek put a reassuring arm around Stiles’ shoulders, getting closer to him.

“Did you tell her why?”

“Not really. She yelled that if there was another girl, she’d know about it. I said there wasn’t. And I wasn’t lying… No other girl, huh?” He was looking deeply sorry, just on the verge of crying. “And then she cried and I just didn’t know what to do or say.”

Stiles was fighting tears when Derek lightly kissed him on his forefront. The unexpected warmth of the werewolf were so overwhelming he let out a single tear. He quickly rubbed his cheek, not wanting to look that sensitive.

“It’s ok to cry.” Derek whispered into his ear. “For her, and for you.”

He held him tight, stroking his back and his hair softly. Who would have thought that a wolf this badass was capable of the most absolute tenderness? Damn, Stiles was in love with the biggest puppy the world ever borne.

“And you…?” he asked between two sobs.

“What?”

“Did you b… Did you break up?”

“Oh. We weren’t really together to begin with. I just told her the party was over. She understood.”

Braeden wasn’t stupid, that’s for sure. Derek was convinced she thought he had found someone else days before he actually told her. Yet understanding it didn’t mean she was feeling nothing. Derek just didn’t have a clue. This woman was way more mysterious that he could ever be, and that’s mostly why he liked her so much.

Silence fell, broken only by the sighs of I’m-trying-to-stop-sobbing-Stiles. Kissing him on his cheek before going for his lips, Derek slid his hands under his t-shirt, the need for the touch of his warm skin too hard to be fought. Stiles couldn’t resist it and soon did the same, his fingers rediscovering the wolf’s muscular back.

“You want to sleep here tonight?” Derek asked between two kisses.

Submerged by a ton of feelings, Stiles only nodded. It seemed to him that words were failing him, running away from his mind like scared rats on a sinking ship. And indeed, he was sinking. Drowning into Derek’s lips and hands, tongue and fingers, as the man was showing him infinite softness.

He carried him in his arms to his bedroom, as if Stiles was his bride. The thought almost made him laugh, but he was still too shattered by his recent break up and his love life entirely. It was a mess, such a brutal and violent mess…

“Derek…”

It was just a whisper.

“Derek, take me.”

Another whisper, only answered by a low growl. Derek laid Stiles down in his bed, running his hands on his pale skin under his clothes. He kissed his lips, his neck and his shoulder, following the track of his moles, while pulling up the t-shirt that was in the way. Soon, Stiles was bare-chested under a still fully-clothed Derek. That wasn’t fair, but it didn’t feel bad. Tonight, Stiles didn’t want to be in charge. He didn’t want anyone to be in charge. He just wanted to roll himself into the sheets with Derek, kissing and loving him. Yet, for quite a long time, it was Derek doing all the kissing, leaving Stiles no other choice that to enjoy it.

Falling down into this passionate embrace, Derek sank between Stiles legs, kissing him even there. A loud moan echoed in the bedroom.

“Derek…”

But he couldn’t answer with something in his mouth. Somehow, Stiles hands found a way to Derek’s hair, and gently stroke it.

“De… S… stop it…”

Derek lifted a surprised face between Stiles knees, unable to refrain from kissing his inner thighs.

“…You want me to stop?”

“N…No…”

Derek’s hazel eyes opened wide with perplexity.

“I want…”

Stiles didn’t finish his sentence, and got over Derek. They flipped over, and changed positions so now Stiles was the one on top. Pressing his lips against his, he whispered in his ear.

“I want you.”

Suddenly impatient, Stiles unclothed him with his help, trying to find the time and space to kiss him while doing it. Somehow in the heat of the moment, Stiles laid his hand on a condom and put it on Derek. Without thinking. Thinking wasn’t relevant anyway now. There was only the depth of what they were feeling, their desire and lust. It was the first time for not-top-Stiles, but that wasn’t even a problem. Everything went so smoothly and naturally that even the pain eventually went away, replaced only by pure pleasure. They were a complete mess, nothing photogenic at all, as if they bodies and mind were only moanings and kisses and warmth and light clawing on their backs. There was nothing left of the world outside. It didn’t exist anymore. The only thing that was left for Stiles and Derek was the only thing that really mattered. The two of them, drowning in each other.

“I love you…”

Just a whisper, another whisper when everything else had faded.

“I love you too.”

Such small words, yet they meant so much more. Sighing as he cuddled Stiles in his arms, Derek thought about something. A detail that wasn’t one. Something he didn’t want to think about, and in the same time, really wanted to think about. Something that could get Stiles in trouble. Something really dangerous.

* * *

Stiles spent the whole night at Derek’s, in the middle of the week. Fortunately, he had left some of his clothes over the few times he had come, so in the morning he still had something to wear. The real problem was…

“Oh no! My… My Dad!”

Derek lifted his eyebrows between two long sips of milk. “You didn’t tell him you weren’t going home last night?”

“Shit… I totally forgot… He’s so gonna to kill me!”

What could he do now? Phone him? No, that would be so unnecessary and that would just get on his nerves. Plus, it was almost time for Stiles to be in class. Last time he checked, he was a high-schooler.

“Huh… I gotta go. Thank you for last night…”

He looked embarrassed, but still grateful and happy. For Derek, that was the only thing that mattered. Yet he still wouldn’t resist the urge to check Stiles at school during the day. He didn’t really stalked him, just wanted to be there if something happened. He didn’t have anything else to do anyway. Well, that wasn’t quite true.

* * *

 

“So, where were you last night?”

Scott didn’t have the politeness to wait a few minutes before talking about the biggest issue in Stiles’ life.

“Would you please shut up…”

“Why?”

Stiles looked at Malia at the other end of the corridor. Being the stealthy teenage werewolf he’s always been, Scott turned around to see what or whom Stiles was looking at. And he got spotted.

“Great. Thank you Scott. Always the bestest friend!”

“Wait!”

Stiles was already getting in the classroom, sitting in the far end of it, in the corner, as if he wanted everybody to forget about him. Especially his ex-girlfriend, actually.

“Stiles, just wait! I’m sorry I didn’t mean…”

“You meant you forgot how she can hear everything we’re saying?”

“ _SHE_ has a name!” Malia growled at the other end of the classroom.

“See? Now’s not a good time.”

Scott sighed and nodded, then sat just in front of his friend. He thought a split second about shutting up, but couldn’t resist asking questions.

“Is it about Derek?”

“Shut up!”

“McCall! Stilinski! I don’t think you can afford to not pay attention to my class, especially looking by your results!”

Their teacher was like any other high-school teacher: cold-hearted, unfriendly and in a durable relationship with sarcasm. So they shut up for the rest of the hour, to Malia’s greatest pleasure. She didn’t want to hear anything from Stiles. She didn’t need to, really.

They didn’t talk about anything until lunchtime. Mostly because it’s the time when Sheriff Stilinski burst out of nowhere into Beacon Hills High School, shouting at his son for not giving any explanation on why he hadn’t slept at home last night.

“Please Dad… could we talk a little later? That’s kind of embarrassing here, in the middle of… well, everybody. You know, I got high standards to keep, reputation and all—”

“You tell me where you were last night and why you didn’t bother to warn me and I might let you get away with it!”

“ _Might_? That’s all? You’re not a really good negociator Dad!”

“Stop talking back and answer!”

“Aren’t these like, synonyms?”

“STILES!”

He let out a big sigh and prayed for Malia to be far enough to not hear what he was about to say, because that’d be so awkward and hurtful for her.

“I was at Derek’s.”

He didn’t even try to lie, because he already knew deep down that his father had called Scott’s mother last night. He could have called Derek too, but it didn’t cross his mind. Of course it didn’t. Sheriff Stilinski frowned.

“Derek? Why?”

“Er… Business? Like, furry business?”

_So that’s how we call it now?_

“Problem with the pack?”

“No… not really huh…”

How could he even put that in a sentence that his father would understand without becoming incredibly upset about it? Damn, his mind was going completely blank.

“Then why were you at Derek’s?”

A locker door shut unusually loudly. Stiles glanced towards the noise, and saw Malia walking away, upset. _Shit, she heard._

“Listen Dad, it’s kind of complicated and…”

“You broke up with Malia, and now you spent the whole night at Derek’s?”

“Thank Lord for giving me a father that clever! It’s ok then, we don’t have anything to talk about, huh?”

Stiles was looking for an exit, where there was obviously none. Also, he was blushing like crazy.

“You’re not denying?”

“Why would I deny? You already know everything, and by the look of her locker, Malia does too.”

Stiles truly felt sorry for her. He really liked her, even if he chose Derek over her in the end. Stiles was too loyal to fake feelings. He sometimes thought that he only had too much of them. Choosing between people he loved gave him a hard time, but it was because he genuinely liked Malia that he decided to let her go. Turns out she wasn’t willing to go after all. He breathed heavily, all signs of his sarcasm-forged shield vanished.

“I’m sorry about that.” his father said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I needed to know, right? You’re my son, my only son and I can’t have you disappearing for a whole night without even a note.”

“Yeah. I understand. I’m sorry too. Next time I’ll send you a text.”

“Next time?”

“Wh… What?”

“You’re grounded, runaway.”

“Oh… Dad! You can’t!”

“I can, and I will. No escaping this one, son.”

Stiles could argue all he wanted, he wasn’t changing his father’s mind. That was decided: no Derek for him tonight.

The Sheriff went back to his job, and Stiles to his classes. And his best friend.

“I heard everything.”

“Just because you can hear anything you want, doesn’t mean you should!”

“Ok, I know you’re upset but… Really? Derek?”

Stiles didn’t answer. He was getting tired of all this. Not that he was feeling shameful or embarrassed by the fact that he was dating Derek - hell, that was way more than just ‘dating’ - but he really didn’t want his friends, his father or his ex-girlfriend to know about it like that. That just wasn’t respectful for anybody.

Understanding that Stiles’ silence was as clear as a ‘yes’, Scott went on.

“But… how?”

“You want me to draw a picture?”

“No! Not that, but…”

Stiles knew what his friend was trying to say. How did he ended with Derek? The words that popped out in his head were all true and false at the same time. None of them could have describe Stiles’ feelings, and yet, they kind of did.

“Call it whatever you want. Chance, luck. Fate?”

He suddenly felt depressed, but at least Scott wasn’t asking anything anymore. He sighed heavily, and sat down in his chair, waiting for the next class to begin. Looking through the window, as if he wanted to escape, he saw a familiar silhouette on the parking lot.

 _Not tonight, sourwolf,_ he tought.

* * *

 

Derek didn’t wait for the high school day to be over to go back to his loft. He already knew he was acting creepy, plus he kind of overheard the Stilinskis’ discussion. They both needed time to get over the fact that Stiles was dating an older male and a werewolf. Derek was even surprised that Sheriff Stilinski reacted that good. He didn’t hope for it to go that easily.

The rest of the day was pretty boring, so much that Derek thought of looking for a job. He wasn’t a lone wolf anymore, and his family wealth wouldn’t last eternally. Maybe he could work. There were plenty of jobs where his special talents could be useful. Bouncer? Cop? Firefighter…? _Yeah, why not?_

There was another issue he needed to talk about with Scott, but now wasn’t the time. He kept thinking about it, weighing pros and cons before telling anybody. Spending his day thinking and exercising, he didn’t see the evening falling over Beacon Hills. When he finally took a look at the clock, he thought about Stiles. Now he should be home. Grabbing his laptop, Derek jumped into his bed, and checked out his mails. Bingo! Stiles couldn’t help but writing him a message, telling him how much he’ll miss him tonight and that he’ll wait on the IRC channel where they’ve met for the second time.

 

> Sourwolf48: That’s ok, it’s just one evening…
> 
> EvilFox24: No, not really
> 
> EvilFox24: My dad grounded me for at least a week
> 
> EvilFox24: And I suspect it’ll last longer
> 
> Sourwolf48: Am I so important now that you can’t wait a few days to see me?
> 
> EvilFox24: Just shut up already ok?
> 
> Sourwolf48: :D
> 
> EvilFox24: And don’t dare use smileys
> 
> EvilFox24: that’s freaking weird
> 
> Sourwolf48: Why?
> 
> EvilFox24: bc irl you don’t use those!
> 
> Sourwolf48: Hey that’s rude
> 
> Sourwolf48: I do smile
> 
> Sourwolf48: sometimes
> 
> EvilFox24: not often enough
> 
> Sourwolf48: you make me smile
> 
> EvilFox24: …
> 
> Sourwolf48: what?
> 
> EvilFox24: warn me before being so cute
> 
> EvilFox24: now i’m blushing
> 
> EvilFox24: happy?
> 
> Sourwolf48: really happy :)
> 
> EvilFox24: i wanted to ask
> 
> EvilFox24: did you hear something today?
> 
> EvilFox24: you were at school so…
> 
> Sourwolf48: yeah i heard
> 
> Sourwolf48: Your father knows about it, Scott and Malia too
> 
> EvilFox24: I didn’t expect them to know it that way
> 
> EvilFox24: I didn’t even expect them to know it, period
> 
> Sourwolf48: what’s done is done
> 
> Sourwolf48: you can’t change it
> 
> EvilFox24: I know
> 
> EvilFox24: I can’t help but feeling relieved Malia didn’t crack open my skull
> 
> Sourwolf48: she wanted to?
> 
> EvilFox24: good chance
> 
> EvilFox24: she’s still wild and…
> 
> Sourwolf48: you’re afraid of her?
> 
> EvilFox24: no
> 
> EvilFox24: not afraid like in ‘afraid she’d kill me’ afraid
> 
> EvilFox24: not really
> 
> Sourwolf48: you’re afraid though
> 
> EvilFox24: I was afraid of you, I was afraid of Scott too
> 
> Sourwolf48: past tense
> 
> Sourwolf48: with Malia, it’s past tense too?
> 
> EvilFox24: She can’t really control her beast, so…
> 
> Sourwolf48: still present then
> 
> EvilFox24: yeah
> 
> EvilFox24: I guess
> 
> Sourwolf48: she’ll learn to control herself
> 
> Sourwolf48: it takes time
> 
> Sourwolf48: but I think you’ve put up with enough of our werewolf shit already
> 
> Sourwolf48: I scared you
> 
> Sourwolf48: at the time I thought it was necessary
> 
> Sourwolf48: Scott scared you, bc he didn’t have a choice and he was a stubborn pup
> 
> Sourwolf48: and Malia scares you bc she never learnt to control
> 
> Sourwolf48: that’s too much
> 
> Sourwolf48: that’s over the top
> 
> Sourwolf48: especially when you’ve been so scared of yourself
> 
> Sourwolf48: I’m tired of you being scared
> 
> Sourwolf48: you don’t deserve all this
> 
> EvilFox24: what do you want to do?
> 
> EvilFox24: protect me?
> 
> EvilFox24: you’re already doing it
> 
> Sourwolf48: I don’t know
> 
> Sourwolf48: I’m just…
> 
> Sourwolf48: doesn’t matter
> 
> EvilFox24: no
> 
> EvilFox24: say it
> 
> Sourwolf48: there’s a way
> 
> Sourwolf48: you wouldn’t have to be scared anymore
> 
> EvilFox24: I know
> 
> EvilFox24: but I don’t want to
> 
> EvilFox24: at least not for that reason
> 
> EvilFox24: not out of fear
> 
> Sourwolf48: I understand
> 
> Sourwolf48: sorry
> 
> EvilFox24: don’t be
> 
> EvilFox24: so
> 
> EvilFox24: enough of that
> 
> EvilFox24: how was your day?
> 
> EvilFox24: besides stalking me I mean XD
> 
> Sourwolf48: nothing really
> 
> Sourwolf48: thinking about getting a job
> 
> Sourwolf48: what do you think?
> 
> EvilFox24: you have a shitload of money
> 
> EvilFox24: and you wanna work?
> 
> EvilFox24: what kind of man are you?
> 
> Sourwolf48: the bored kind
> 
> Sourwolf48: and money will eventually run out
> 
> EvilFox24: what do you want to do?
> 
> Sourwolf48: don’t know…
> 
> Sourwolf48: deputy?
> 
> EvilFox24: working with my dad?
> 
> Sourwolf48: doesn’t sound bad to me
> 
> EvilFox24: yeah why not
> 
> EvilFox24: i’ll talk to him about it
> 
> Sourwolf48: no no I’ll do it
> 
> Sourwolf48: no need to hurry
> 
> Sourwolf48: I still haven’t made my decision
> 
> EvilFox24: ok
> 
> EvilFox24: and what are you doing tonight?
> 
> Sourwolf48: nothing
> 
> EvilFox24: no pack meeting?
> 
> Sourwolf48: no…
> 
> Sourwolf48: why are you asking?
> 
> EvilFox24: what?
> 
> Sourwolf48: if there’s a pack meeting, you’d be there too
> 
> EvilFox24: please I’m not as hairy as you
> 
> Sourwolf48: but you’re pack
> 
> Sourwolf48: no discussion
> 
> EvilFox24: you do know how to cheer me up, huh?
> 
> Sourwolf48: what that sarcastic?
> 
> EvilFox24: a little bit
> 
> EvilFox24: just not used to it
> 
> Sourwolf48: you should
> 
> Sourwolf48: I won’t restrain myself
> 
> EvilFox24: go ahead
> 
> EvilFox24: I like it rough
> 
> Sourwolf48: you have no idea
> 
> EvilFox24: but I have a really vivid imagination
> 
> EvilFox24: and you look great on it
> 
> Sourwolf48: are you trying to picture me right now?
> 
> EvilFox24: yeah
> 
> Sourwolf48: how do I look like?
> 
> EvilFox24: a handsome half-naked broad-shouldered guy, typing non-sense on his laptop, lying on his couch and trying to ignore the thing that’s growing in his underwear
> 
> Sourwolf48: pretty accurate
> 
> Sourwolf48: except I don’t have underwear
> 
> EvilFox24: are you teasing me?
> 
> Sourwolf48: am I?
> 
> EvilFox24: bc it works
> 
> Sourwolf48: good.
> 
> EvilFox24: tell me you’re not touching yourself
> 
> Sourwolf48: what do you want me to tell you?
> 
> EvilFox24: tell me…
> 
> Sourwolf48: I’m waiting
> 
> Sourwolf48: usually, you give orders
> 
> Sourwolf48: don’t you think I’m tired of it
> 
> EvilFox24: you really want it?
> 
> Sourwolf48: yes
> 
> Sourwolf48: please
> 
> EvilFox24: please…?
> 
> Sourwolf48: Please Master
> 
> EvilFox24: that’s better. But not enough.
> 
> Sourwolf48: I’m begging you
> 
> EvilFox24: not bad
> 
> EvilFox24: then tell me
> 
> EvilFox24: are you touching yourself?
> 
> Sourwolf48: no
> 
> EvilFox24: do you want to?
> 
> Sourwolf48: yes
> 
> EvilFox24: What are thinking about?
> 
> Sourwolf48: you
> 
> EvilFox24: Stop these one-word answers and tell me!
> 
> Sourwolf48: I want to kiss you and hold you in my arms
> 
> Sourwolf48: touch your skin
> 
> Sourwolf48: and kiss you everywhere
> 
> EvilFox24: that’s cute
> 
> EvilFox24: you know what I want?
> 
> Sourwolf48: no Master
> 
> Sourwolf48: please tell me
> 
> EvilFox24: I want to whip your ass until you give up and beg for me to stop
> 
> EvilFox24: I want to tie your body so tight that you’d feel the ropes with every single move you’re trying to make
> 
> EvilFox24: I want you to suck my cock like you’re dying out of thirst and it’s the fountain of youth
> 
> EvilFox24: I want to fuck you so hard you’ll scream my name until every last one of your neighbors knows about me
> 
> EvilFox24: Are you touching yourself now?
> 
> Sourwolf48: yes…
> 
> EvilFox24: good.
> 
> EvilFox24: Keep going.
> 
> EvilFox24: Think of me, covering your stomach in hot wax
> 
> EvilFox24: spanking your ass cheeks until they’re bright red
> 
> EvilFox24: is that what you’d want me to do?
> 
> Sourwolf48: yes
> 
> Sourwolf48: and I want more of it
> 
> EvilFox24: I’m listening
> 
> Sourwolf48: I want you to whip me, to burn me, to break me until I no longer exist
> 
> Sourwolf48: until I’m all yours
> 
> Sourwolf48: not a wolf
> 
> Sourwolf48: not even a dog
> 
> Sourwolf48: just a sorrow nameless thing
> 
> Sourwolf48: all yours

 

_Ok so that’s creepy._

Stiles didn’t answer anything at first, partly because he was too busy masturbating and typing with only one hand took a long time. He was also kind of turned on by the way Derek put it in words. Yet, it felt weird. It was like Derek was opening himself to Stiles, leaving nothing unseen or unheard, even the deepest sadness. Like it was his therapy. Stiles breathed and typed again.

 

> EvilFox24: You’re all mine
> 
> EvilFox24: burning and breaking or not
> 
> EvilFox24: you’ll always be mine

 

Derek didn’t answer for a long time, surely because of more pressing matters. Stiles also had unfinished work that needed fixing. Ten or fifteen minutes later, they came out their virtual silence, now using both hands to talk.

 

> Sourwolf48: a pity you’re grounded
> 
> EvilFox24: you tell me
> 
> Sourwolf48: I’d love to hear you say all these things
> 
> Sourwolf48: I read it with your voice
> 
> EvilFox24: that’s funny because I don’t think I’d be able to speak all those
> 
> Sourwolf48: maybe you just have to get used to it
> 
> EvilFox24: Yeah
> 
> EvilFox24: you’d really like it?
> 
> Sourwolf48: hell yeah
> 
> EvilFox24: I’ll try then
> 
> EvilFox24: I was wondering…
> 
> EvilFox24: I don’t really know what you like
> 
> EvilFox24: each time I asked, you returned the question so
> 
> EvilFox24: what’s your biggest fantasy?
> 
> Sourwolf48: I got a couple, be more precise
> 
> EvilFox24: with me
> 
> EvilFox24: what would you want me to do, really?
> 
> Sourwolf48: promise you won’t laugh
> 
> Sourwolf48: or run away?
> 
> EvilFox24: omg that’s so horrible?
> 
> Sourwolf48: quite
> 
> EvilFox24: ok, go ahead
> 
> Sourwolf48: the thing that really turns me on these days
> 
> Sourwolf48: is… golden showers
> 
> EvilFox24: …
> 
> EvilFox24: piss?
> 
> Sourwolf48: yeah
> 
> Sourwolf48: are you running away?
> 
> EvilFox24: no, dumbass I’m grounded I can’t leave my room
> 
> Sourwolf48: so…?
> 
> EvilFox24: hang on, I need some time to reboot my brain
> 
> EvilFox24: that blue screen was a bit violent
> 
> EvilFox24: you want me to piss on you?
> 
> Sourwolf48: that’s a crude way to put it
> 
> Sourwolf48: but yeah
> 
> EvilFox24: well ok
> 
> EvilFox24: i’ll think about it
> 
> EvilFox24: other unspeakable dreams?
> 
> EvilFox24: and speaking of the unspeakable
> 
> EvilFox24: do you like tentacles?
> 
> Sourwolf48: yes but I don’t recall you having some
> 
> EvilFox24: I know a website where you can buy some silicon ones
> 
> EvilFox24: a bit expensive, but that could be fun
> 
> Sourwolf48: why not
> 
> EvilFox24: cool
> 
> EvilFox24: so, anything else?
> 
> Sourwolf48: there’s a few things but you’re not trained enough
> 
> EvilFox24: like?
> 
> Sourwolf48: real leather whips, suspensions
> 
> Sourwolf48: cockpins and dilatation
> 
> EvilFox24: ok
> 
> EvilFox24: You’re right
> 
> EvilFox24: i’m too low-leveled for this shit
> 
> Sourwolf48: I’ll train you for the whip
> 
> Sourwolf48: if you want
> 
> EvilFox24: yeah sure
> 
> EvilFox24: could even be useful besides having sex
> 
> EvilFox24: and I really like Indiana Jones movies
> 
> EvilFox24: but not the fourth one
> 
> Sourwolf48: the one that doesn’t exist?
> 
> EvilFox24: yeah, except for the fridge scene
> 
> Sourwolf48: yeah :D
> 
> Sourwolf48: so, next time you can come over, I’ll show you how to wield a whip, ok?
> 
> EvilFox24: goes for me
> 
> EvilFox24: you know
> 
> EvilFox24: sometimes I just can’t picture that we have this kind of conversations
> 
> Sourwolf48: yeah it’s weird at first
> 
> Sourwolf48: you’ll come around
> 
> Sourwolf48: you’ll get better trained, used to it
> 
> Sourwolf48: there’s nothing wrong with all this
> 
> EvilFox24: yeah I know
> 
> EvilFox24: just my classic education knocking on the door sometimes
> 
> Sourwolf48: I understand

 

Actually, he didn’t, not really. Derek never had what people could call a ‘classic education’: he’s always been a werewolf, and he was quite close to his uncle, which is not the better example of ‘classic’. Someday, he’d have to tell Stiles that all he learned about bondage and domination was from Peter, and that their special condition allowed them to go much further than any regular human being. But it was too early for that, and Derek didn’t lie when he asked Stiles not to laugh or run away. He feared that if he talked too much, if he wanted him to go too far, Stiles would just leave him. He knew that he was a particuliar bottom, that he nearly had no limits whatsoever, and that would freak anyone out. He knew that being a dom wasn’t easy because of the sense of responsibility, that it was exhausting. He didn’t want Stiles to feel bad or uncomfortable with what he’d ask him. What he had said, that was just the beginning, the tip of the iceberg, and he was deathly afraid of Stiles’ reaction when he’d see the whole of it.

They virtually kissed each other good night, hoping that the grounding wouldn’t last too long but also dreaded the moment when words and ideas would come real.


	3. Pack Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles nodded, taking a good breath. Scott was pure gold as an Alpha, and he really thanked him for that. The problem is that Scott didn't have the first clue on how to solve the Malia issue. So he guessed he'll do as usual: getting things done solely trusting his instinct and not knowing what he was doing. That worked well so far!
> 
> The pack is having some problems, all because of Stiles and Derek dirty hobbies !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is the third chapter ! It's a bit long, it's a bit hard and explicit with sex scenes (totally nsfw) and it's the beginning of what I could call a 'real' plot.  
> Hope you'll like it !

 

Sometimes, you really wish your private life was actually private. Stiles knew it wasn't really the case. He dumped Malia and was more or less forced to officialize his relationship with Derek. This had more consequences that he could have imagined, and he knew that. His best friend was the Alpha, the pack leader, so he naturally turned to him when all the wondering was too heavy to bear.

"Hey Scott!"

They were in the locker room after a lacrosse training session that went more boring than anything else. Stiles was totally ok with that. Too many bad things had happened on the field, so let's get lacrosse be boring, thank you. Scott looked at Stiles, genuinely concerned. He always was.

"What's wrong?"

"I wanted to talk to you…"

Stiles looked around, making sure she wasn't nearby. Why would she? Well, you'd never know.

"…about Malia." Scott lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing. Stiles went on. "She's mad at me for breaking up with her, maybe mad at Derek too, and for all I know, mad at you for not disapproving."

"And?"

"She's still pack, Scott. I'm just wondering why we can still be a team now that I…"

"It's not your fault."

"It  _is_. And it should be my own problem, but with all the fangs and fur, it's also yours now. I'm so sorry…"

Scott land a friendly hand on Stiles shoulder. "Don't be. You only did what you thought was right, you don't have to feel guilty about it. Let me handle this ok? We'll find a way. We always do."

Stiles nodded, taking a good breath. Scott was pure gold as an Alpha, and he really thanked him for that. The problem is that Scott didn't have the first clue on how to solve the Malia issue. So he guessed he'll do as usual: getting things done solely trusting his instinct and not knowing what he was doing. That worked well so far!

Stiles felt almost bad for letting Scott sorting his own shit out, just before remembering that his best friend was the Alpha and that it was part of his job, as strange as it could appear. Stiles wondered if he would ever get used to the whole pack thing. Yet, he had more pressing matters to attend. The afternoon was coming to an end, so he had to hurry to get himself prepared. His dad was done grounding him, and he couldn't wait to go out see Derek. He expected him tonight.

They had talked about raising Stiles top's skills a bit, so this evening was a training session more than a romantic night. The teenager couldn't help but worry with anticipation. He never manipulated a leather stockwhip before, and he knew what kind of wounds that nasty thing could leave. Sure, Derek could handle more physical pain than any regular human being, but Stiles was still afraid to hurt him. Then he realized that maybe tonight wasn't involving any practice on a real target. Maybe they'd stick to the basics, the theory.

 _Don't fool yourself…_ he tought. One day or another, he'd have to overcome that fear if he didn't want to regret it later. He asked for it. He wanted it. He only dreaded any unwanted consequences, and there was nothing odd in this.

He entered the shower with a long exhale, the hot water taking over his body and relaxing his muscles. Tonight was another step into a world he was eager to know better. The dread soon mixed with desire and lust. His hands glided down along his body, reaching out his groin, touching himself shyly at first. The images of a totally submissive Derek popped in his head, exploding into a kaleidoscopey chaos. A Derek that screamed in pain and pleasure, a Derek that licked his boots while he pulled his leash, a Derek unable to move under the restraining ropes, a Derek soaked in sweat, sperm, piss and blood. A Derek that could endure anything and say 'thank you Master' in response, only to ask for more. Stiles' body leaned onto the shower wall as he was coming. Damn, he got so tense with these dirty thoughts that his wrist was burning, and his arm aching. His mind still clouded with lust, he actually got to the part that he washed himself. When he finally got out of the bathroom, the dread of hurting Derek was back but couldn't match the hunger for more. Stiles was 100% certain of what he was doing.

* * *

On the contrary, Derek wasn't worried at all. He had a total trust in his own capacities and in his teenage boyfriend. That could sound very wrong, if only Derek's life hadn't be wronger to begin with. Looking through the window, Derek waited for Stiles. He was on time, as usual, yet this time Derek saw a little stiffness in his shoulders as he got out of the Jeep. Nervousness was to be expected, and it was Derek's job to make it go away.

The door opened on a lightly smiling Stiles. Derek walked up to him and gave him a gentle kiss, hoping to see that smile a bit wider. He wasn't disappointed.

"How are you?" he asked then.

In his mouth, this sentence had nothing to do with the usual greetings. It was a real question, so the least that Stiles could do was to answer with honesty.

"Feeling tense. Nervous… But I'll get over it."

"Too bad." Derek smile raised Stiles' eyebrows. "I was planning on giving you a massage."

"Great idea, keep it up. I like it." Stiles laughed softly as he put away his jacket. He noticed the straps hanging on one of the beams. The perspective of real target training was a thing, after all. Stiles stood still and swallowed.

"Something's wrong?"

"No… No, that's ok."

Derek made a face and crossed his arms on his massive chest. "No, that's not. What's bugging you?"

Stiles hesitated before reminding himself that the day he would keep secrets from Derek will be the beginning of their end. And he didn't want that. He inhaled and let it all out in a breath.

"The straps. I thought it was only a training session. Like, theoretical training. I don't think I'm prepared to whip your ass, unless you want it turned into a bloody pulp. And even if you want it— you even might like it, wouldn't surprise me, I don't want to. I really like your ass as it is right now. Firm, round and with all the skin it needs."

Derek fought a smile. "Don't worry. It's only if I feel like you can do it, and only if you want to. Anyway, it's only straps. We can do a lot things, besides whipping." Stiles' shoulders lowered a bit as he felt reassured. "And you're not wrong." Derek added. "I do like it."

"I knew it. I definitely knew it." He lifted his hands and laughed. "Man, you're way too metal for me."

"We'll see that. Here."

Without any further intro, Derek handed him a big leather whip. It was a bit heavier than he thought, and a lot softer. The touch of the leather was something Stiles knew he would grow very fond of. He caressed the whip, examinated it in detail. It wasn't as long as he would have imagined, though five feet of hard braided leather were more than enough.

"This one is a classical stockwhip, only it wasn't made for animals." Always that obsession of using made-for-it gear. Stiles couldn't agree more. "It's a bit harder to learn how to use these. Horse whips are the beginning. This is serious business, but I think you know that."

Derek made a gesture, inviting Stiles to just try it out on nothing but air. The loft had been cleaned so no furniture would get it the way.  _Ok, let's do this._

Stiles lifted his hand and made a wide struck. A loud noise cracked in the air, following by the one of something falling. Stiles was completely panicked. He didn't know what he was doing and brought down a chair. It wasn't broken, but could have been.

"I'm sorry!"

Behind him, Derek couldn't help but smirk. He approached Stiles and breathed into his ear.

"You're putting too much strength into it. It's all in the wrist… I thought you'd know that."

"Stop joking, this isn't funny!"

"It is!" Derek laughed and put his hand over Stiles'. "Here. You only need a firm grip, the length of the whip would do the rest. Just a slight strike…" He made an almost lazy gesture from right to left, and then another one. "…you understand? The speed at the end is tenfold the speed you give it. Whipping gently shouldn't be tiring. Also, keep it as horizontal as possible. It's easier to aim that way."

Stiles nodded and Derek let go of his hand. The whip sang in the air, a little bit too high and loud for Derek, but that was clearly progress.

"Only the wrist." he said, and Stiles tried again.

The training took more time that they would have thought, yet Stiles didn't end practicing on Derek. He wasn't ready for that, both of them knew it. Instead, they eat pizza watching  _Daredevil_.

"The half-empty penthouse loft with big dirty windows is really a thing, then?" Stiles asked.

Derek shrugged and shut him up with a kiss. It was good, but Stiles is not someone letting go that easily.

"If you keep on eluding my questions like that, I might find a really good use of those straps."

"I can't wait."

That's where Stiles had to back down. He was too tired to go full dominant tonight, so he just resumed watching the show. When the end credits fell, he finally found the courage to ask the question that was burning his lips.

"Derek… Who taught you all this?"

Every teacher has his own teacher, after all. Derek dreaded the question, but he could only answer honestly.

"…Peter." That was something Derek wouldn't have said, but since Stiles asked… Anyway, he'd eventually know. It was better if it was Derek who told him.

"Your uncle…? But…"

"Yes." Stiles was obviously doing the math so Derek cut it out for him. "I was young. Really young."

"How…?"

"Sixteen."

Since Stiles wasn't much older, he didn't say anything. He had no right to judge, anyway. He opened his mouth, wanted to know more about it, but shut it since he couldn't come with a good question.

"Don't worry Stiles, it's over now."

"What?"

"Peter and I."

"Ah. Oh, that's what you thought I'd worry about? Really?"

Derek gazed at him, perplexed. He was lucky that Stiles couldn't resist those eyes… He just made a gesture.

"That's ok. Just me being too curious, I guess." he finally said.

Looking grumpy again, Derek didn't make a move, so Stiles went to him and gave him a tender kiss that turned out to be more passionate that he first intended. He landed on him, his hands shoved into his hair, and his lips in his neck. When it came to cuddling, Stiles wasn't tired at all.

When he came home that night, Stiles found out he really wanted to talk to Peter. The problem was he's been locked up in Eichen House and Stiles couldn't hope to reach him without getting spotted— after all, the staff knew him too. Why things always had to be so complicated? There was also another matter in this: why the fuck would Stiles want to talk to Peter in the first place? What did he want to know? How an uncle went all BDSM with his 16-years-old nephew? That was none of Stiles' business! He didn't have any right to judge, or even to know. He just wanted to understand, even if that meant being utterly indiscreet.

He had to renounce. There was nothing more he could do but rely on whatever Derek would tell him. Sighing, he went to bed, and found himself dreaming of Peter and Derek. Together, and younger. Stiles actually saw what Derek was like when he was in high school, so the dream was even more vivid. Younger Derek was gorgeous… unsufferable, but definitely gorgeous. When he woke up, Stiles noticed his desire couldn't be hidden. It came like a heat wave from his groin, and he soon started to touch himself. Again. It was the first time he did it while thinking of the person he loved being with someone else. That felt strangely good, though. Picturing Peter giving Derek orders was more exciting that he would have thought. He saw him whipping Derek, waxing and spanking his ass red, and then savagely fuck him. Submissive Derek was really Stiles' turn-on n°1, and his orgasm was so violent he slept just after, exhausted.

* * *

They had fixed the session for tonight. A few days had passed, so Stiles had still the time to change his mind. Did he really want to do something like that? Yes, obviously, since he didn't say anything to Derek. So, on this tuesday, he drank a lot of water. Hell of a lot. He read somewhere that some food could leave a taste in urine, like coffee or pineapple, so he avoided any of it. Beer could have been a solution, but being drunk for a session was a stupid-ass idea. Derek wouldn't have it anyway, and he would have been right. The first rule— well, one of the first rules— was to be always sober, in control. So Stiles drank only water, a thing that seemed to puzzle Scott.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"What? Staying hydrated!"

"It's like your third liter today…"

Stiles shrugged, acting like everything was normal. His best friend sure knew he was in a relationship with Derek, but he didn't need to know the details. The details being 'I'm going to piss on him all night long'. That sort of things was kind of private.

"Hey Stiles…?"

"What?"

"You're acting weird these times."

"Don't worry, Scott. I'm fine!"

Stiles smiled, so his friend let go. He'd be more alert, though, just in case. We can never know… The classes were over and they were on the parking lot, reading to go home. Stiles got in his Jeep, but Scott made a gesture.

"By the way, we got a meeting friday night, remember?" Scott added.

"Yeah, I didn't forget."

"I think we'll talk about Malia."

Sooner or later, they had to talk about her. Stiles sighed. He didn't like the idea, yet he knew that was necessary. He wouldn't let the pack be torn apart by the instability of his love life, especially when he wasn't even a werewolf to begin with. They didn't deserve something like that. He nodded.

"I hope we'll be able to sort it out."

"We will." Scott reassured him.

Then, he let Stiles go.

* * *

The Jeep entered Derek's building parking lot a few minutes after. Stiles didn't want to wait to see Derek. Things were becoming a bit too complicated when werewolves were involved. All supernatural put aside, it all were just love issues as most human beings knew them. Stiles breathed. He had to forget about Malia, at least for tonight. He wasn't here for her, but for Derek. Thinking of one while being with the other was the biggest insult he could make.

The door opened on a Derek leaning against his desk, with a concerned look on his face and his arms crossed. Like… Stiles did something wrong and needed to be punished. Did he? He wasn't sure, so he went for the sarcastic half-jokey attitude.

"Am I not the one who should look pissed and about to spank asses?"

Derek smiled a bit. "I wasn't expecting you this early. I thought it'd be someone else."

Stiles frowned. "Like who?"

"Scott. Or Malia."

Walking quickly, Stiles crossed the distance between him and Derek. They kissed and hugged each other, finding this embrace comforting. Derek needed it: he didn't show it but he dreaded this week's pack meeting. He too was feeling guilty. He was afraid Scott would kick him from the pack. That was unlikely, but Derek had so many bad surprises in his life he tended to get paranoid. And the perpective of being an Omega terrified him. He didn't want to be alone anymore.

He held Stiles tighter, enough for the boy to look at him with wonder.

"What is it, Derek?"

"I just… I just realized how bad I needed a pack. You're my only family now."

That wasn't quite true, since Peter wasn't dead yet. But Stiles knew the subject was too explosive to bring it up in this situation. He kept silent and kissed Derek again.

"I need you." the wolf said.

 _I know_ , Stiles thought.  _And I really need to pee._

"Are you ready, then?" Derek asked. He didn't have to remind Stiles of what was suppose to happen, the boy remembered it well. He nodded and smiled.

"I'm more than ready. After all, you didn't even expected  _me_."

They went in the corner of the loft, the one that Derek kept for working out, among other things he wasn't keen to tell people about. Straps were still hanging, but Stiles didn't want that.

"Can I go through your stuff? I'm wondering if… I got an idea."

Derek smiled enigmatically, and opened a closet otherwise locked up with a key. Inside were accessories of metal and leather, things that Stiles knew how to use, and things he didn't. Even things he never even saw. Derek let him search for what he wanted, looking slightly amused.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not. I'm smiling."

"Same."

"You're cute."

Stiles blushed, and fought for a good line to throw back. It came with difficulty, but he found one: "You'll change your mind when I'll whip your ass bloody."

"You're not ready for that, you know it."

"Someday I'll be."

Derek shrugged. "So, what are you looking for…?"

Stiles kept silent and put things aside. Ropes, for a start. He could use those, and it was not something new. Sometimes, sticking to the basics was the best thing to do. But for today, he wanted something else… There!

"A leash?" Derek raised his eyebrows with a smile.

"What? Aren't you a dog?"

Derek laughed, but didn't disagree. Standing in the middle of the loft, he took off his v-neck. That was the signal. Stiles' smile turned into a vicious smirk. Both of them changed clothes: they liked to be shirtless for their sessions, wearing only a pair of old jeans. Stiles kissed Derek a last time before it all began, then looked at his outfit.

"Am I dreaming? You're not wearing pants tonight, dog."

Derek instantly looked apologetic. They were both getting into their roles, something that was strangely easy. The wolf lowered his head, and took off his jeans. Now he was completely naked.

"Sorry, Master. I didn't know…"

"Shut up." Stiles' voice was cutting through the air, sharper and lower than usual. "Kneel."

Derek obeyed, but his Master didn't look pleased.

"Not like this. Are you already tired? Straight back, and don't sit on your feet."

"Yes, Master."

Stiles waited for Derek to get in the right position, and took the leash. He placed the collar on Derek's neck, being careful not to tie it too tightly. Then he went for the ropes, choosing a shibari figure that immobilized only the upper-half of the body. Derek didn't move, only moaned when he felt the cotton biting into his skin. Stiles was gentle though: the knots were good and the ropes didn't cut his blood flow. Stiles was always worried about safety, sign that he was a good Dom. Derek couldn't be more serene than when he was in his hands.

Even when Stiles just left him in the middle of the room, bound and kneeling on the hard floor. Waiting was a big part of the play, he knew that. He just didn't think that hyperactive-but-medicated-Stiles would dare use it in their sessions. He thought about it as a good thing: if Stiles wanted to gain some control over his ADHD, why not? Even if it was just an illusion. Both of them knew there was little he could do against it. So, Derek waited, his knees beginning to ache from the position he was holding. Images flashed into his mind, and he soon got a boner. He could have a vivid imagination, sometimes. His breathing accelerated as he felt like shouting, begging Stiles to come back and punish him. He was about to do it when he heard steps and the screech of metal being dragged on the floor. Stiles had brought a chair that he left just in front of Derek. He didn't sit in it right away, instead he went to the wolf and clipped a leather leash on his collar. Then, he took a step back, saying:

"I must say I appreciate the picture." He pulled the leash, making Derek moan. He turned around him, slightly scratching his back, pulling his hair. Then he came back in front of him, pushing his face onto his groin. Derek could feel how Stiles was enjoying this.

"You'd like that, huh?"

Derek violently nodded. "Yes…"

"Yes who?"

"Yes, Master…"

"Is that the best you can do?"

Stiles took a step back, admiring the frustrated thing Derek had become.

"Please, Master… I'm begging you…"

Hmm, not bad. Stiles came closer, and unzipped his fly. His erection popped out: when he changed clothes, he didn't bother with underwear. Derek jumped on it as if was dying of thirst, and sucked it hard. Stiles let out a loud moan, but quickly pulled the leash with brutality.

"Not like that! Nobody taught you good manners?"

"Excuse me Master."

"No. No I won't excuse you."

"Please, Master…"

"I won't! Now shut the fuck up, dog!"

"Master…"

"What part of 'shut the fuck up' you didn't understand?"

Stiles slapped him on the cheek, then pulled his face against his cock.

"Is that what you want, dog?" he asked rhetorically. "You want it, huh?"

Derek nodded, scrubbing his face against his Master. He licked him, sucked him again, more gently this time. He let his tongue play, his lips stroke the shaft, his teeth dangerously brush the skin, until the moment when Stiles couldn't hold it back anymore. He didn't want to come that quickly, and he still have a surprise for Derek. Well, since everything was planned, it wasn't really a surprise, but whatever.

"You know what? You don't deserve it." Stiles said harshly. "The only thing you deserve is this."

He needed all this intro to get to the point of the session of the day. He had to shut down a big part of his brain to overcome his mental block. It didn't come easy, but it did, eventually. And he would never have thought he'd like the sensation this much. As he pissed on Derek's face, he let go of everything. The power and the feeling of freedom were intoxicating, as well as the humbled and grateful look in Derek's eyes. Eyes Stiles was careful to avoid, of course.

The piss was unexpectedly clear, at least for Derek. Stiles meant it to be as bland as possible, not knowing if his method would work. It did, yet Derek was feeling a bit disappointed. Maybe he was indeed too metal for Stiles.

However long the flow lasted, it finally came to an end. Panting, Derek opened his mouth, asking silently to taste Stiles again. His Master conceded, the fact that Derek was a good sucker not entirely stranger to that decision. Derek could do this for hours, and not getting tired of it. Stiles wouldn't be neither, if only he wasn't on the verge of coming again. He withdrew, and sat on the chair, looking at Derek. A smirk appeared on his face, his big brown eyes glowing with desire.

"What a poor thing you are, all soaked and smelly. You repel me. Yet…"

Not without a theatrical gesture, Stiles produced a condom, and put it on himself.

"…I believe you can earn your way out. But you'd have to come and get it."

If Derek was surprised, he didn't show it. He stayed in character, and without so much of an hesitation, got to his feet. He struggle a little with balance, being all tied up and his knees aching, but he managed to walk to Stiles. He did it without breaking eye contact, looking right into Stiles' irises.

"All you want, Master." he whispered as he sat on Stiles' lap. He wanted to kiss him, but Stiles pulled his leash back with a grin.

"I'm not here to kiss you. I'm here to fuck you, or, as it seems, for you to fuck yourself on me."

He guided his shaft into Derek's ass, and let him sat on it.

Derek couldn't help but let out a badly concealed sigh. It was so good to feel Stiles like this again… Especially when he was looking at him with those surprisingly cold eyes. His Master was so deep in character that was disturbing, frightening and exciting at the same time. Derek didn't know how he managed not to come.

Yet, as he focused on Stiles, coming up and down on him as his Master didn't even touch him, he ended up coming anyway. Semen lazily run on his hardened and pulsing cock as his husky voice fell into silence. It wasn't the most violent orgasm in his own private history, but surely the most intense. It came up like magma out of an effusive volcano, painfully slow until it was here and he didn't notice. Then it took over all of his senses, paralyzing him in complete silence. His brain just shut down, and for a moment, he didn't know where he was.

He felt Stiles' hand in his back.

"You're one big bad dog, yet still weak." he said as he lifted Derek from him. Then he let him fall to the floor down into the pool of piss, watching him like he was garbage.

"You're filthy." Stiles added, putting out the condom and throwing it out at Derek's face. The wolf tried to kneel again, but that didn't satisfy his Master anymore.

"You're a dog. On all fours." He took back the leash, pulling it a little. "Don't forget to show me your ass."

Derek knew what was coming. He heard Stiles going through his stuff, choosing a whip to punish him. Not a long stockwhip he still didn't know how to use, but a small horse whip. Strikes came down soon after, with a deadly regularity, becoming stronger and stronger.

"Did I give you the permission to come?"

"No, Master…"

"Then you understand why I must do this?"

"Yes, Master."

The spanking session didn't seem to have an end. Derek nearly screamed with every strike, his hoarse voice full with pain mixed with pleasure. His cheeks were burning, and his knees were aching again. And then suddenly, everything stopped.

Stiles pulled his leash again, approaching his cock to Derek's face.

"You owe me a better apology than a reddened ass. Suck."

So he did. Stiles couldn't help but running his fingers into Derek's thick hair, slowly taking control of his movements. Soon he was just face-fucking him until he gagged, saliva pouring obscenely from his mouth. Between two breaks to let him catch his breath, Stiles was unexpectedly brutal, as if he finally embraced the joy power could provide him. In the crescendo of his own voice, Stiles let out a bigger moan, an ending long note as he reached his climax. He withdrew and ejaculated on Derek's face.

"You're filthy." he repeated as he spread his semen on his cheeks and made him lick his fingers. "But you're a good dog. Aren't you?"

"I am, Master."

"Come here."

The mad light glowing in Stiles' eyes faded away, and he held Derek in his arms. He began to untie him gently, stroking his back and kissing his neck.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I am."

Stiles smiled lightly. "Then let's take a shower."

* * *

The loft had to be super clean for friday night, so Stiles helped Derek with the chores. They had pretty dirty hobbies, no pun intended. It was all fun until the 'clean-up-your-mess' part, that is.

"We're lucky you're not into scat." Stiles said, just before considering that Derek might actually be into it. As the wolf was only smiling and not answering, the boy raised his hands. "Ok, you are."

"I don't know." Derek finally said. "I never had the chance to try. Maybe I'm not, maybe I am. Are you?"

Stiles lifted one eyebrow. "You remember when I said you were too metal for me?"

"Yeah…" Derek laughed. "Too metal, then?"

"So metal you're freaking adamantium combined with vibranium!"

As it was to be expected, Derek didn't get the reference, and gave Stiles his most puzzled look.

"Bah! Forget it!"

"No, tell me."

Stiles' eyes got wider. "You have a bunch of movies to catch up, that's all."

"We'll watch them together then."

They smiled, genuinely pleased with each other.

Friday came faster that they would have thought. Everybody was there, sitting on the couch or the desk, most of them unsuspicious of what could happen when it was only between Stiles and Derek. Kira sat next to Lydia and Liam, while Scott was still standing up. Derek was leaning on his desk, Stiles by his side although not too close to him. Malia was as far as possible from them, pacing nervously through the living room.

"Tonight we're not just watching a movie or play Soul Calibur. We have actual issues to sort out." Scott began.

 _Actual issues, huh?_  Stiles lowered his head, suddenly wanting to disappear.

"I'm leaving the pack." Malia threw at them. "Simple as that. I got nothing to do here anymore."

"Wait… You can't just go like this…" Kira replied, genuinely shocked and worried.

"You can't be an Omega again…" Scott added in disbelief.

"I don't want to be part of your pack anymore. You can't force me to stay. I know you won't do it."

Malia wasn't wrong after all. Scott had a gentle heart for an Alpha, and he wouldn't do something against her will.

"I just have a question for you Malia." Derek spoke.

"I'm not answering to you." Anger flashed in her eyes, glowing blue for a second.

"I'll ask anyway. Do you really want to leave only because of an ex-boyfriend?"

 _Please don't_ , Stiles thought. On the other side of the room, Malia was about to explode with fury.

"It does seem pretty futile to you, doesn't it? That I just can't breathe the same air as you, knowing what's going on. I just can't."

Stiles refrained from smiling sadly.  _The worst part being you don't actually know everything that's going on here…_

"The truth is, Derek, I know that if you're in danger, I won't help you. I'll just sit by and watch you die and I'd be happy about it. Do you still want me in your pack?"

Derek didn't answer. He had nothing to say, neither did Stiles. Sitting in the couch, Liam, Kira and Lydia weren't sure of what was happening here. Feeling like she had missed some episodes, maybe a whole season of it, Lydia dared to ask:

"Ok, what's really going on here? We only know that Malia and Stiles aren't dating anymore, but… Why talking about it in a pack meeting, hmm?"

Malia had a sour laugh. "I thought you were clever. Stiles left me and lied to me, saying there was nobody else. Instead, he dumped me for Derek."

"I didn't lie, you asked about 'another girl'…" Stiles defended himself. Considering the death glare Malia was throwing at him, what he said wasn't the most intelligent thing to say. On the couch, the three people that didn't know stayed awkwardly silent.

"Well… That's a surprise…" Kira muttered.

"We didn't know you two were g…" Liam began.

"Bisexual." Derek intervened. "And that's none of your business anyway."

"So why are we talking about it?" Lydia had a point.

"Because it could have consequences on the pack." Scott pointed out. "As Malia said, if she can't work as a team with Stiles or Derek, we might have a real problem here. We're a family, we have to trust each other with our lives."

"That's why I'm leaving. I'd be an Omega, and I won't stand in your way. I'm used to be alone anyway."

"Malia, you know I don't want this." Stiles tried.

"I don't care what you want."

"Nobody is kicking you out, that's what he's trying to say." Derek replied. "You're pushing yourself away."

"I know. And Stiles doesn't need you to speak in his stead."

"Actually, he does. You're frightening him."

The room fell silent with the revelation. Maybe Derek was a bit exaggerating, but Stiles didn't protest. The bitter truth slapped Malia's face, and she stood still for a second.

"You're afraid of me?" she asked. He nodded, avoiding eye contact. "Aren't you afraid of Derek? Scott? Kira? Liam? Lydia? Peter?"

Peter… Even after all they've been through, Stiles felt weird when thinking about his absence.

"I'm not." he answered. "I might have been, but I know I can trust them, that deep down, they know what's the right thing to do. That, somehow, they're human." He dreaded her reaction to what he was about to say, but he owed her at least the truth about his feelings. "The problem is… I don't know if you're human enough for me."

Malia's mouth was agape for a few seconds, until she found something to hang on to.

"And Peter? Is  _he_  human enough for you?"

Damn, she had a point here. Peter could be a hell of psychopath and the moment after, a cinnamon roll. What Stiles could answer to that, without any bad faith? He could say that he hadn't dated Peter, but neither had he dated Scott. He could say that Peter had saved their asses a few times, but Malia did too. He could say that Peter never threatened to let Derek die if he was in danger, but he tried to kill him several times and told Kate how to create Berserkers! He couldn't tell her, but he had to admit that Peter was kind of his problematic fave.

"You're not saying anything." Malia finally pointed out.

"You're right. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Talking about Peter…" Lydia intervened, really wanting this drama to end. Stiles couldn't be more grateful. "I still have this weird connection and… He's not well. Not at all."

"Who cares?" Malia began. "If Stiles is afraid of him, he's not worth anything!"

"You're not helping, Malia." Scott muttered.

"Of course, and that's why I'm leaving the pack."

Without any other words, she left the loft. Stiles understood why she was upset, but there were some things that you just couldn't control. Being more comfortable with Peter than with her was one of these. He sighed, and got back to what Lydia was saying.

"She'll come around." Derek whispered to him, putting his hand on his.  _I hope so._

"I had nightmares about him, like he was being tortured or something. I was wondering if…"

Scott looked genuinely concerned. "We're the one that put him there. We're kind of responsible."

"And he's responsible for turning you into a Berserker!" Liam said, suddenly recovering his tongue.

"I know but…" Scott sighed. "He's pack."

"More than Malia?" Derek asked, without any irony in his voice. He questioned his Alpha only to make him say it aloud.

"Malia wanted to leave… Peter never did."

"He's toxic." Kira said, and Liam agreed.

"He's also cunning. We might need him." Lydia muttered.

"He might be all you want him to be, if he's in danger we have to help him." Scott declared. "He's not like when we first met him. I say we rescue him, and then we'll decide what to do with him."

"Are we really risking our skins for his?" Liam asked.

"I don't know. Who agrees with me?" Scott was requesting a vote, putting his hand in the air.

Stiles was the first to raise his hand too, soon followed by Lydia. "What? I'm tired of those nightmares."

Kira also raised hers. "We can't let people torture him, no matter what he did to us."

"I hope we'll kick him out of the pack after that but…" Liam's hand raised from his lap.

"Derek?" Stiles was perplexed. The wolf was remaining silent, his face completely neutral. He was thinking about it, without coming to accept the fact that, once more, Peter was going to be an issue.

"If only he stayed dead…" Yet Derek raised his hand.

"Ok, that's settled then." Scott said. "So, how do we do that? Any ideas?"

Of course, they had none. Eichen House wasn't the kind of place you leave easily, but since Derek was his own parent left, they still had a chance with the legal way. Otherwise, they could always break in and take him back by force. Stiles had the feeling that was what they were going to do. That was what they always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet me on [Tumblr](http://galaxies-stones-and-shit.tumblr.com/) :3 !


	4. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You were trained when you were sixteen. By your uncle. Who happens to be a sociopath. I can’t figure any parallel universe where this kind of thing doesn’t leave a mark.”  
> Derek sat in the couch. “What do you want to know?” he asked, surrendering to the deep brown eyes of his dom.

"We need to talk about Peter."

He turned and stared at Stiles. Too bad there was nothing appealing in his light hazel gaze.

"No we don't."

"You know we do."

Derek eyerolled exeggeratedly and sighed. "Why can't you let Scott handle it? He's the Alpha, it's his job!"

Stiles' mouth opened in disbelief. Then a joyless smile appeared on his lips.

"You really thought I was only talking about getting him out of Eichen House?"

Silence fell, and this time it wasn't as soothing as usual. "What are you talking about, then?"

It really hurt Stiles to bring it up, but as the dom in their relationship he needed to know. He feared he might accidentally trigger something, just by saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong moment.

"You were trained when you were sixteen. By your uncle. Who happens to be a sociopath. I can't figure any parallel universe where this kind of thing doesn't leave a mark."

Derek sat in the couch. They just had another stockwhip training session, still without any real target. Stiles was getting better and better at it, but in the same time, he began to bother about Derek's own training. It distracted him, so Derek wouldn't trust him with his back yet. It wasn't hard to understand why Stiles was bugged, knowing that Peter and his nephew had had such a relationship. However, Derek didn't feel like answering. Hell, he didn't even know if he could answer at all.

"What do you want to know?" he finally asked, surrendering to the deep brown eyes of his dom.

Stiles looked puzzled, as if he didn't plan that would be so easy. He opened his mouth, yet stayed silent for a while. Then he found something clever to ask, something that would not appear like he bluntly shot in the beehive.

"Whose idea was it?"

Derek shrugged. "I can't remember. Peter and I always have been close and after Paige… well."

Their gazes crawled on the floor. Stiles knew he was brushing something awfully painful, but he couldn't help himself wanting to know more.

"He comforted you?"

"As far as someone like Peter can comfort anybody, I guess."

Tired of pacing restlessly, Stiles sat next to Derek, suddenly hesitating. Should he hold him into his arms, or would this gesture feel alien considering the talk they were having? Doubting, Stiles just stayed still.

"Do you know… Do you think he loved you?"

The question was so intimate that Derek could only stare blankly at Stiles. For a moment, the only Derek he could see was the sixteen-years-old one. Beneath all his defences, that was the only thing Derek was, and he was taken aback. He didn't see that coming. Talking about Peter and love? Like, in the same sentence? That was definitely weird. Yet, he could understand why the teenager would ask such a thing. Quitting staring at him, Derek thought for a moment but had to admit he didn't have a clue.

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't even know if I want to know. Peter's special talent is to hide his feelings, or so it seems. Maybe he just doesn't have them. Who knows?"

"I'm sorry." Stiles came closer and held Derek in his arms. He knew he had gone a little bit too far with his questions, and that the only thing his lover needed was affection. "I just wanted to be sure… not to do or say something wrong while we, you know…"

Derek nodded. "I understand. Maybe our current safeword isn't enough for you?"

"What do you mean?"

They had one, who was funny and silly as the one you can come up first when it's all rainbows and discoveries. 'Cousin Miguel' wasn't going to be enough now.

"I guess we need more than only one word. If you're unsure if I'm ok during a scene, you can just ask and I'll tell you."

"Ok… Do you have an idea of a code?"

"Actually I do."

A faint smile lit up his face. It was out of question to use the same words he used with Peter, but it happens he recently found another code, more like him.

"So…?" Stiles asked, still waiting.

"Just ask me what cannot be hidden."

It was Stiles' turn to smile lightly. "The sun, the moon, and the truth. Clever."

"After all, you're my anchor." As they hugged even closer, Derek went on. " _Sun_  is when all is fine and nothing's bothering me.  _Moon_  is when I need you to be more gentle or to go easier on me, while not wanting to stop completely the scene. And  _truth_  is when I need you to stop."

"Ok. That's fine by me." He wanted to make a bad pun between 'truth' and 'truce' but didn't. The change actually reassured him : so now, not only he would know when he was going too far, but also know when it's ok for him to go forward. That made a huge difference. That's when Stiles realized safewords were not only for the sub's safety.

* * *

Another week came to an end, with another lacrosse game Beacon Hills High School wasn't going to win. But that was ok. That was life. Regular, normal, teenage life. A soothing lie to wrap yourself into, when everything else seems to be a living nightmare. The thing that helped you staying human. Stiles had lacrosse, and he was grateful. Derek found something else : a reason to move on, to blend into the city. In the morning, he officially applied to join the Beacon Hills Firefighters Unit. He was still afraid of fire, but he'll learn how to overcome it, to outwit it, to finally have power over it. In the end, it was all about control : learning when you don't have it, when you can't have it, and when you need to have it.

Stiles was currently learning to let go of control over his team score. Even if by a happy miracle he was on the field tonight, he couldn't do much to beat the odds. BHHS team had already lost, unfortunately. The referee was a few seconds short from blowing the whistle, and the other team was ten points ahead. The score was already settled. The whistle blew. Except it wasn't the whistle.

"Lydia?"

His friend was in the bleachers, standing and screaming for apparently no reason. Of course, they knew better. Stiles took a look around and spotted Scott, Liam and Derek covering their ears, another sign that wasn't just a scream. Without hesitating, they converged to her, joined by Kira and, surprisingly enough, Malia.

"Is it about my father?" she asked.

Shocked, her eyes wide open, Lydia nodded.

"What happened? What did you saw?" Scott was getting less and less patient these times.

"I… I heard… He screamed. He begged for help. For my help…"

Stiles frowned. "But what can you do?"

"I don't know." she whispered.

"We have to go." Scott decided. "Right now. And if we don't do this for Peter, we do it for Lydia. Right?"

This time, everybody nodded. Even Malia.

"You're coming with us?" the Alpha asked, his gaze going from her to Derek.

"Yes. I'm going to help you. This has nothing to do with Stiles and Derek, so guys, just don't get in my way. I'm doing this for Lydia. And my father."

Stiles felt a throbbing pain in his chest, and couldn't help but look at Derek with a sorry expression. Yet, that was progress. Maybe Malia won't be an Omega after all. Maybe.

They all met in the parking lot a few minutes after that. The whole pack was there, talking about how they even could enter the Eichen House.

"Guys, we can't go like that, we need a plan." Stiles pointed out.

"We don't have the time!" Scott argued.

Risk and reward. He still didn't understand it. Stiles frowned.

"Peter never would have wanted that. He would never, never risk the entire pack for his sorry little neck. This S.O.S., that's bullshit. It's a trap." Damn, since when did Stiles learn how to think like Peter?

"I'll go." Malia said. "I'm not pack anymore. I'm free, and alone, I'm sure I can do better than if we were together. Plus, no getting in the way for anybody."

Geez, how long was she going to rub the salt into this wound…?

"That's too dangerous…" Scott couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I know. And that's why I want to go alone."

"We could watch your back. Just in case." Kira offered.

"Thank you. I might need a little back up, but only if need be. I don't plan on knocking on the entry door and walk in the open."

"What's your plan?" There was no hint of irony or mockery in Stiles' voice, only genuine curiosity.

"Back door. Going through the basement, directly to Peter." Fair enough.

"We could let Scott, Kira and Liam in the basement or just at the exit, in case you might need help." Stiles didn't mentioned Derek, because of obvious reasons. "Signal your position and they'll come."

She seemed surprised Stiles helped her with her plan, while understanding why she preferred not to work with the mightiest piece of the chessboard. She nodded.

"Yet, if you do that, your cover will be blown, so it'd be open fight and I would not recommand that."

"I know."

What more was there to say? She was risking her life for the sake of what…? Walking into a trap she didn't know anything about. They didn't have enough intel. That was… pure madness.

Yet Scott didn't oppose it. Nobody did. So that night, while Malia was fighting for getting Peter out of this hell, Stiles and Derek stood behind, waiting.

* * *

They waited outside, not far from Eichen House, but not too close either. They didn't want to be spotted. They sat silently in the Jeep, not saying anything. Waiting was torture.

Stiles tried to hide his fear, but what can you possibly hide to someone able to hear your heartbeats?

"Calm down, Stiles." Derek said.

"I can't."

"Breathe. She's not alone."

Something was off. Stiles didn't find that sentence helping, and not because Malia actually was alone, at least from the basement to Peter's cell. He realized a few seconds later that it was because he wasn't afraid for her. He dreaded the moment when they'd get to see Peter again. Would he be the same? Could he be the same? And how in the world Peter not being the same was a bad thing?

He went out of his thoughts when he felt Derek's hand touching his arm. That was more soothing than anything he could have said. Just contact, sometimes, can change everything. Stiles felt his tension go away a little, and Derek heard his heart go to a more normal pace. Their hands met and held each other. They didn't know for how long, though. The waiting was never ending.

Derek suddenly let go of Stiles' hand, and got out of the Jeep. The young man did the same before even realizing that the time had come. Lydia was also getting out of her own car. Waiting was over.

Scott appeared at the corner of the streets, carrying the body of man. Liam, next to him had also a body in his arms. Kira was standing between them, running lumpily.

"We need to go!" Scott shouted.

When they came closer, Stiles recognized Peter and Malia, both seriously hurt, but still alive. He imagined the worse, seeing others carrying them, but they were werewolves. They'd heal, eventually.

They all went searching for Deaton. They were in need of counsel and medical assistance, so that was the best option, even if it was a awfully obvious one. Who knew what could be chasing them now? Both Derek and Stiles wanted to ask what exactly happened in Eichen House, but that was not the time. Even Deaton guessed it. That, or he already knew what all that was about. The druid had a pretty surprising habit of not being surprised.

"They'll heal. It will take time, but they will." he said with his usual neutral voice.

Everyone in the room sighed with relief, but now they had another problem. A bigger one. They just broke into Eichen House to kidnap one of their legal patients. Peter needed time to heal, but he also needed a place to hide. Stiles' brain was racing and even though it wasn't the best moment to talk about that, they had to.

"Where are we going to put him?" Nobody talked. "We will need a real plan against what the hell happened at Eichen House, and we'll know only when he's better, but since, we need a safe place for him."

"My loft could be ok." Derek finally offered reluctantly.

"It's too obvious. Here is too obvious too, but at least there's mountain ash." Stiles argued.

The look on Deaton's face was the one of a really unhappy man.

"You could place him under the Nemeton's protection." He offered instead. "I'll help you secure the place, against most types of enemies."

Scott nodded. That was a good plan. "We'll transport him tonight."

"What about Malia?" Lydia asked. "She can come to my place…"

"It's too dangerous." Deaton argued. "If the people who tortured Peter know her face, she'll need heavy protection as well."

"So we let Malia with Peter?" Stiles guessed. The druid seemed to approve. He personally wasn't agreeing with such a decision, but the call wasn't his to make. He had a really bad feeling about this, and not only because of Peter.

He was in bad shape to say the least. They tortured him, whoever 'they' were. He was bruised and cut in several places, and his system was probably saturated with wolfsbane. He looked miserable, pitiful, and he was still on the verge of dying, even if Deaton assured them he will heal, only slowly. Peter was a wreck. Again. Stiles didn't know what he feared most: the people that did this to him, or what Peter would be capable to do to them when he'd be back on the field.

And what'd he be able to do about that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

* * *

While Stiles was in high-school scheming about a defense plan in case of a counter-attack from the people who tortured Peter, Derek just went to see him. His application as a firefighter was still pending, so he got nothing else to do besides watching over his uncle and Malia. It felt weird, out of place and in the same time, painfully familiar.

"Here we are again." he said, entering the basement.

With the pack's help, they made two small rooms for Peter and his daughter, not far from the roots of the Nemeton.

Derek didn't have to say more. He knew that Peter could hear him, and despite all the suffering his uncle had brought onto him, he didn't feel like hurting him on purpose. Yet, Derek's thoughts weren't the noblest.

_You should have died in the fire. You should have stay dead when I killed you. You should have died. You should die._

Derek's claws were out without him realizing it. He was standing next to an impossibly vulnerable Peter, but he was still dangerous in his own way. Derek could stop it all, give the final blow, and be done with it.

Only he already had, all to no avail. What good could Peter's death bring now? It was too late. Another death like his was useless. The only deaths that mattered was theirs, those who dared attack his pack. Claws crept back under the nails. No more civil wars. Remember who the enemy really is. Derek turned to the exit, when he heard Peter moaning.

"D… De… Derek…"

His nephew came back to him, curious to what he had to say. But Peter didn't say anything. He opened his eyes, made them glow cold ice blue, and then cried.

* * *

Stiles and Derek were casually cuddling in the couch. It's been three days now since the attack on Eichen House, and they still weren't directly threatened. Stiles had made a plan, but the doctors, as he called them, didn't make any move. It was like they were waiting for something to happen. The full moon was coming, so maybe it was that. Anyway, something was clearly wrong, and the uneasing feeling was getting on Stiles' nerves.

"What if they  _wanted_  us to get Peter back?"

The boy had a point, as usual, but he also needed to calm down his brain and rest a little. Derek brushed his cheek with his thumb, and kissed his forefront. Then he said with a low and collected voice: "We have to wait for him to recover and tell us. I know we lack intel, but that's the surest way to proceed. You have agreed on that."

Stiles had no choice but to nod. Derek was right, there was nothing they could do. They just had to wait, and that was literally killing him.

"You know what you need?" Derek asked rhetorically. "A little distraction. What do you think, Master?"

They both laughed. "Are you really asking me for a scene?" Stiles wasn't sure if it was a joke or not.

"Absolutely. Do you want to?"

"I… Won't it feel weird? With the context?"

"As far as I'm concerned, I'd gladly have something that allows me to disconnect a little. I need a break."

That wasn't stupid, after all. Stiles made his 'not bad' face, then nodded. "I guess you're right. I'll take a break too, honestly."

He sighed and kissed Derek again.

Stiles had changed clothes to wear only jeans, and had tied a naked Derek up on a St Andrew's cross. He planned on going very slowly this time, playing on waiting and frustration. Those things he really needed to have control upon in his life, and couldn't. He brushed Derek's torso with a horse whip, striking gently his nipples. The wolf answered with a moan, obviously wanting more. Stiles could try something new, except he didn't want to take the risk. Not on a scene with so little preparation. He stood with the horse whip long enough for Derek to beg for mercy. Literally. His nipples, his stomach, his groin and his inner thighs were bright red, Stiles only spared the most sensitive part of Derek's body. A part that was now claiming attention with insolence.

Stiles brushed his fingers against it, making Derek's breathing uneven.

"Master…"

It's been a long time since he begged. Approximately two minutes.

"Master, please…"

But Derek had been a good dog lately, teaching his Master how to dominate him, so Stiles wanted to give something back. He got on his knees, and gave a unique lick on the tip of his cock. He was toying with him, smiling like a predator facing his prey. Ironic, isn't it?

Stiles kissed his burning thighs, the thin skin of his hips, and let his tongue obscenely lick his abs. He was really enjoying himself.

But Derek suddenly didn't.

"Truth!"

Panicked, Stiles got on his feet and quickly cut the ropes. He didn't know what he did wrong, but that wasn't the time to ask. Not yet. He got a blanket from the wardrobe, and let Derek wrap himself in.

"You want to sit down?"

Derek silently agreed and they were back on the couch, cuddling.

"I can hear your heartbeat."

"That could be so romantic if only I didn't know what you're talking about…" Stiles replied. "Did I do something wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I… I wasn't in the mood anymore."

"Ok."

Stiles didn't go any further. He just held Derek in his arms, not wanting to know why he suddenly backpedaled. There need not be a reason after all.

Silence stretched out for long minutes, until both of them were feeling sleepy. The dark was crawling outside, and Stiles had already warned his father he would probably spend the night at Derek's. He didn't forgot this time.

"Don't you want to know why?" Derek finally asked, when all kind of tension had disappeared for a long time.

"Why you used the word?"

"Yes."

Stiles shrugged. "Of course I want to, but only if you're willing to tell me. As far as I know, there might be no reason why." It made Derek frown, so Stiles went on. "I can talk only for myself but… sometimes libido's like a volcano exploding around, burning everything to ashes, and that can't seem to calm itself down until all is gone. And sometimes it's a failed soufflé. Happens."

He kissed Derek's forefront, and rubbed his nose in his neck.

"I saw Peter cry today."

That came out of the blue, and saying that it shocked Stiles was an understatement. He lifted his head violently, looking at Derek right in the eye.

"Cry… Like…?"

"He was just crying like…" He paused, having trouble finding the right words. "…a lost child."

Stiles didn't say anything, but picturing Peter sobbing was something he never thought he'd find terrifying. His eyes opened wide with dread, and glowed with a spark of anger.

"What did they do to him…?" Stiles muttered. "And Malia?"

"I don't know, and Malia seems fine. But wait, I thought you didn't like Peter…?" Derek's voice wasn't sarcastic at all. It was only genuine concern.

"I thought that too. But he helped the pack, in his own twisted way. I kinda miss him."

"He should never have been locked in Eichen House… We should take care of our own problems, not throwing them off to other people only to feel attacked by them right after. Assuming Peter was a problem to begin with."

"I'm not following you." Stiles hesitated.

"Just because he does evil things doesn't mean he's behind everything bad that happens to us. Maybe he took the blame a few times for somebody else, who knows? When Peter is your first suspect and doesn't even try to defend himself, why searching any further?"

"What are trying to say…?"

"That maybe while we were poiting fingers at Peter, another enjoyed the show. The real puppeteer."

"Are you telling me Peter's a pawn?"

Derek held Stiles closer to him, giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

"No. I'm telling you we all are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank Cupidsbower & Athenadark on Tumblr for their incredibly well-written meta, and Ravewulf for bringing them to my attention. Sorry if it's not as kinky as I meant it to be, but to be honest, I'm feeling like this fic is way out of control. Things happens and things are said that I never planned in the first place, but that's what I like with writing. I hope you're okay with that too.


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